#BEMOREME
KAREN'S STORY
PART 1
50 is The New 40. But What Happens if You Don’t Feel Like That?
Social media is full of 50 and Fabulous, Flirty 50s, 50 is the new 40. But what happens if you don’t feel like that? Your kids are flying the nest, you’re on your own and your face is inexorably slipping south. Things aren’t where they once were and the mirror is very definitely not your friend. You don’t need to wear Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, because your age has rendered you fully invisible 100% of the time. I can hear the nodding of 1000s of heads with jowls flapping and turkey gizzard necks wobbling. No-one said ageing was fun, but when your face on the outside, doesn’t match the twenty-something you on the inside, when you avoid mirrors to the extent that people are worried you’ve a vampire living in your house, your mind wanders, wondering if having some ‘work’ done is the answer. My first thought was no, no, no; I don’t want to look like Kim Kardashian and I definitely don’t want to join the ranks of the middle-aged hamster faces with their be-fillered pillow cheeks squeezing their eyes into little slits and their ludicrous lips entering the room before them. No, no, I don’t want to look like I’ve had work done but I would really love to be more me! So, I’m going on a journey, ugh that word! But, I really am; I’m going to see if after bringing two boys up single-handedly, I can do something for me to make looking in the mirror, less painful and to make the outer me, match the inner me. I’m going to make an appointment at Renew to #bemoreme. ​ The Consultation:​ ​ So, I arrive at Renew for my consultation and I’m scared. Places like this scare me, I imagine them to be full of the women who work behind make-up counters. Foundation so thick you can write your name in it and brows so botoxed you can’t tell what they’re thinking.However, I’m pleasantly surprised. Kelly ushers me into her room and she looks normal! If she’s had ‘work’ done then it’s so subtle that I can’t tell, she seems to have hardly any make-up on and she’s just nice and normal. I’m surprised, she’s definitely not what I’d imagined. I tell her how I’m so embarrassed by my turkey neck that I constantly wear a scarf. That my eye brows are slithering into my eye sockets and that looking in the mirror is really not an option for me. I find myself pouring out all sorts to her, especially my fear of ending up looking like a hamster and no longer looking anything like me at all. I’ve seen it, women I know who’ve become women I don’t know due to the ‘work’ and I don’t want that for me. Kelly actually agrees! She tells me that she often says ‘no’ to women’s requests for more cheek fillers, more lip fillers, and more Botox, I listen and I realise this woman loves what she does, and what she does is make women more them; not a ‘new you’ just a younger you and I can feel my anxiety quieten, I realise I’ve been tensed from my toes to my head and now I can relax, maybe this isn’t going to be so bad after all! Kelly takes photos of my face and neck and if I’m honest I really can’t look at them, 12 years of standing on football and rugby touchlines in the rain and bitter cold have left their mark and I just don’t want to look. I can see she gets me, feels what I’m feeling, and wants to help. She takes a machine to my long crepey turkey neck, ‘is this too hot, does it hurt’ she asks, ‘no, I had two kids with only gas and air’ I reply, thinking even if it did I’d do anything to get rid of this crepey, saggy abomination! Kelly looks and decides that the RF machine it is not the answer for me and I’m happy to go with what she’s suggesting. Fillers here and there, a touch of Botox and not a new face, but a friendly face I remember from the past…me. So, I’m to begin my journey in 10 days and strangely, I can’t wait!!
PART 2
The Ventriloquist’s Mouth And More...
First session, I arrive with less trepidation, but either march of the hamster-faces very much in my mind! Kelly’s made a plan of action and is going to start with, what I like to call, my ventriloquist’s doll mouth! You know what I mean, deep grooves coming down from the corners of my mouth to my chin, giving my mouth a permanent frown. Kelly reckons she’s going to turn that frown upside down and puts lashings of numbing cream around the areas she’s going to fill. We’re chatting while all this is going on, I really can’t remember what about, but she’s distracting me and it’s working. Needles really don’t bother me, so while Kelly’s waiting for the numbing cream to take effect she popped a few tiny dots of Botox in my hairline and above my brow. If I need more she’ll do it at the next appointment; less is more. Now for the treatment: ​ All around my mouth is now totally numb so, when Kelly asks if it hurts I genuinely say no, I can’t even tell what’s she’s doing! In fact she’s filling in my ventriloquists grooves and all I feel is very numb! Then she moves and I realise she’s putting filler in my upper lip, I feel a slight panic, is a trout pout beckoning? I’m not going to lie it’s a little bit painful, but I’m not going to move, so I lie still wondering what’s happening as Kelly smooths and pats at the areas she’s filled. Then she passes me the mirror so I can see the half she’s done v the half yet to be done. And the difference is amazing! One side looks rested the other looks tired and old! I can’t believe the difference. Kelly does the same to the other side and then I hop off the bed. She tells me to look in the mirror, something we know I hate and I actually jump when I see myself because I remind me of someone and then I realise that someone is the younger me! It’s emotional looking at yourself, still you, but younger. Emotional but wonderful and I can’t wait to see what Kelly’s going to do in our next session. Do I look like I’ve had ‘work’ done? ​ So, do I look like I’ve had ‘work’ done. This has been my fear from the start. I don’t want to look like I’m not me or people to stare at my frozen face, hamsters cheeks or lips fit to burst! I’d rather they didn’t notice so my night out with long-standing girlfriends, who know me well was a good test. I arrive, I sit down and no-one says anything! Not a word and I feel relieved. One glass of wine in and one of my friends says ‘you’re looking good, your cheekbones look amazing’ of course Kelly hasn’t touched my cheeks but you think my whole face has been lifted by what she’s done so far. Now I don’t know if you’re like me and simply can’t keep a secret, but I tell her ‘no, it’s not my cheekbones it’s my ventriloquists mouth, it’s gone’! To be fair she’s probably not thought about it, after all it’s not her face, but the very fact she thinks I look great makes me feel great. When it comes to confidence in your 50s it’s not easy, that invisibility cloak lays heavy on your shoulders and anything you can do to lift that cloak and feel more alive is bound to boost your confidence. I feel more me. Still very much me. Just a more youthful, more confident me. And that’s all I want. Thank you to my beautiful friend who complimented me, she made me feel seen and that’s what we all want; bit to look like a celebrity it to have lips like slugs or cheeks like pillows nor a forehead like concrete. ​We just want to be seen and that’s how I feel…seen.
Saying Goodbye To The Gizzard Neck!
PART 3
The holey crater was gone and the puckering nearly disappeared a night out with long-standing girlfriends was a good test. ​ So, today was the day; the day when I begin to wave goodbye to the ghastly gizzard neck. My face is definitely looking more me, but that crepey wobbling turkey gizzard still makes a scarf de rigeur! I was feeling nervous although I know I’, good with pain, two babies with only gas and air, I thought needles in the thin skin on my neck could be a bit of an ouch-fest. Fully numbed with cream and the promise of gas and air if needed Kelly began. She said she was using a combination of two different fillers to tackle the nasty neck. I honestly never felt one single needle go in and I know she did loads. If you see the photo of my neck you can see that in the centre there’s what you could describe as a sinkhole or some other sort of hole? The holey crater is literally sucking the skin above and below in causing the horrible puckered look. I can only describe what Kelly did as sculpture; imagine an artist sculpting clay onto an armoire to create a face. That’s what it felt like she was doing. When I finally got to look at my neck it was very noticeably different, the holey crater was gone and the puckering nearly disappeared! Now THIS is life-changing; it does feel weird to do something that’s simply just for me, but this is special, if my neck becomes ‘normal’ I’ll literally a new woman!! My neck’s obviously a bit blotchy and swollen now so I’m off to try a Clinicare EGF Pure Mask. For £10 it’s there to take away the inflammation and rejuvenate my skin. Fingers crossed as I’m off to London tomorrow for an awards do. ​ Final Thoughts: ​ Today I saw someone who’d had horrendous work done; someone half my age who didn’t need any work done, but who’d done it anyway. Lips plumped to bursting point and brow frozen like a statue and I wondered why are we so dissatisfied with ourselves? And who did this to her? At no point could anyone have looked at this young woman’s ‘new’ face and thought it was an improvement on her natural face. Someone was happy to play on her insecurities, take her money and give her treatment that made her look less attractive, older and very much not her. Making the best of what you’ve got, want to be flipping fab at fifty is great, but doing this to a young woman seems wrong to me. Professional practitioners like Kelly refuse to do this, but others are happy to oblige. So while I want to #bemoreme in my 50s we should spare a thought for young women who think they’re not good enough in their 20s and encourage them to #bemoreme too. #BEMOREME
"Now THIS is life-changing; it does feel weird to do something that’s simply just for me, but this is special, if my neck becomes ‘normal’ I’ll literally a new woman!!"
​
KAREN
